CREAMED

No, I'm not talking about the state of my panties ... I'm talking about what happened to me at oral argument before the Supreme Court this morning.

I got creamed by those five people in their long black robes up on their high bench. I mean, I walked out of that court this morning craning my neck around to try to catch a view of my backside to see if I really did have a second asshole after that argument ... cause it sure as hell felt like they ripped me a new one in there.

Seriously, what good is it to prepare and practice an oral argument, when all you really end up getting to say that you actually planned to say is "May it please the Court ...." After that, mid-way through my first damn sentence, I was interrupted by the chief justice, who esssentially said "Ms. SadieLady, excuse me, we KNOW that already. We don't need you to tell us that. Tell us why such and such instead." And I tell you, I had cut all the superfluous shit out of my argument already, by the 100th practice of it ... I had it down to key points, concise sentences with particular purposes ... or so I thought this morning, anyway. And once I got hit with that first interruption, all I was able to do after that was just answer specific questions, with one or two sentence answers, if I was lucky, before I was cut off again with essentially a "yeah yeah, I know that's what you want us to THINK, but WHERE is there any LAW that ALLOWS that?" And if my answer to that question began with "Section [xyz] of the [such and such Act] in the Code of Laws permits ... " I swear to fucking God I'd get interrupted before I got to say WHY I contended that THAT was the actual LAW that ALLOWED it ... cut the fuck off, again and again and again. My only actual answer that seemed to be good enough for them was my very last one ... which I would like to take credit for, being able to say I ended on a good high articulate note, but I think the only reason I ended with that impression is because they just decided they were done listening to me and questioning me at that point and so for that reason and that reason only they didn't cut to shreds that particular answer.

Argh. Well, at least it was tough on the other lawyers who presented argument this morning too; I wasn't the only one walking out of there with a new appreciation of the word humility. And at least it's over now, too ... and at least I can say now, "I've argued before my state's highest court." Though I will be conveniently leaving out the part about how hard I got pounded doing it. I mean, I know I've been WANTING a good hard pounding for a while now, but that wasn't the kind I meant.

Anyone out there wanna go get a big stiff drink with me? Let me know. Cause I'll be having one before this afternoon is too far over.