Happy Birthday To Me!

Just in time for my birthday, I have received the greatest gift: a sweet, sexy, smart, funny man who is wooing me hard, who I am crazy about, and who is fucking me good. I mean DAMN good. What more can I ask for?

This weekend the hometown guy and I went up to a cabin in the mountains, for our first overnight together. We explored a couple cute little mountain towns, stumbled upon a wine tasting, went out to eat at some nice places. He gave me an awesome birthday present when he first picked me up for our weekend, and then bought me another one in one of the shops we went into in one of the mountain towns. And we fucked like a couple of teenagers; I mean seriously, it's like we can't get enough of each other. We fucked in the bed, on the floor in front of a roaring fire, bent over furniture. Unfortunately in all of my excitement to finally have a sex life again, I rode him a little too hard, and squeezed him a little too tight, and ended up bruising his poor dick. But he's a champ, and he didn't let a bruised dick stop him from fucking me even more.

I did discover one hazard on our trip, though, and I feel like I should share it with you as a bit of a cautionary tale, a message to be careful, if you will. It's really not a good idea to suck your boyfriend's cock while he's driving the car on curvy mountain roads. You might accidentally knock the gearshift into neutral with your upper torso while pressing your head into his lap, and he might be so caught up in the pleasure of the moment that he might not notice that the car is no longer accelerating ... and no one wants to have to explain that THAT's how they ended up getting into an accident. Thank goodness he got us back into drive before we started rolling backwards and fell off the mountain ... he's got good reflexes, my new man.

Yes, overall I'd have to say that my 34th birthday is the best damn one I've had so far. I predict this is going to be a most excellent year indeed.

SO THIS IS MADNESS

I used to think I might be just a slight bit off kilter from the rest of the world, a tad bit crazy, just a hair or two away from being what you could call truly sane. But man, I didn't have a clue ...

Because I am truly wrapped up in insanity right now. Wonderful insanity. Ecstatic, vibrant, psychadelic insanity, my world full of bright colors, greens and hot pinks and oranges and fire engine reds and turquoises and canary yellows and fuschias. I hear music, wonderful rocking grooving makes-you-want-to-get-your-freak-on music, every minute of the day.

I am alive. I am hyper-sensitive, in the most exquisite way. I am orgasmic.

I have somehow unwittingly stumbled upon the world's biggest happy pill.

I am drunk. Intoxicated. High. And out of my mind with madness.

And this madness is delicious. It is exotic and erotic and powerful. It has consumed my mind and my heart and my soul. And ALL of my sexual organs.

I am Dr. Frankenstein's monster. He has awakened me and put a crazy-ass spell over me.

I am his freak, and he is mine.

Please let this madness never end.

What A Wet Day

It's raining outside right now. I have my window open. It sounds so nice.

I just recovered from one hell of an orgasm. It had been building up all day ... seriously, ALL FUCKING DAY. My hometown EH match got me revved the fuck UP today at work, with his im's ... man oh man oh man. This was a most unexpected match ... and I'm just delighted so far. And if he's going to im me like this often, then I need to start wearing panties underneath my skirt to work ... because my pussy was soaked for him today.

Seriously, what will my drycleaner think?

Asshat

I got a phone call today from Asshat ... he's read my brief, and wants an extension for his reply. Well that's no big deal; what kills me, though, is just my curiosity about what he must think about me, especially today since he's just read that brief, and what kinds of things he's thinking and feeling that he doesn't say, but that I swear I just know are there ... I mean, have you ever talked to someone over the phone or whatever and you just KNOW that they're thinking about something, probably the same thing you are (b/c well you're already thinking about what they must be thinking about, so if you're right about it then of course you're both thinking about the same thing ... and I guess if you're wrong then, well, then there's probably no point to this post ...) and it's just curious that the conversation nevertheless is so incredibly polite? So fakely polite? Maybe you have to have been around the person enough already that you sort of just detect, with your gut feeling, that their tone of voice is too practiced, too acted ... too different from what it is when they're letting their guard down a bit. Anyway, that's how I felt with this guy, I could tell it was just killing him to be polite to me over the phone; see ever since that trial, and God ESPECIALLY now that I've written that brief that uses as several of its grounds things that weren't properly preserved and things that weren't properly argued and things where he just has totally misinterpreted the law (like in an obvious way) ... anyway, see ever since then I know, I just KNOW, that he hates me. And I think it's partly just his personality; he's the alpha dog, doesn't like to be shown up, which is an unfortunate characteristic to have combined with a certain degree of ineptitude in general (see, they screw up but just refuse to see that they have, and are so self-righteous and adamant in their arguments after the fact, bless their poor souls), and I don't think he likes to be shown up by me in particular - prior to trial he used to act super friendly towards me, but like he was taking me into his confidence and talking down to me, like he expected I was someone he could manipulate or something, someone he didn't have to worry about as far as being a competent adversary in court ... and also, frankly, as part of that way that he used to talk to me back then, when I think he was just thinking he was playing his game and taking care of the competetion, he also used to flirt with me; subtlely, but definitely flirting (he's about 8 years, maybe not quite that much, ok maybe 6 years, older than I am, and single) ... and now, with all of those combined circumstances and emotions etc., it's like when I talk to him there's this sense of animosity ... God you really would've have to have seen him in trial almost to get the picture I'm trying to paint with words here, his demeanor changed over the course of that trial, and man but he took it all personally, and got pissed at times ... I want to say it's an undercurrent of passion, except this passion isn't lust or what have you, it's something entirely different (though perhaps somewhat inspired by all sorts of different other emotions perhaps somewhat related to lust, at least partially, at least in the beginning anyway, when all this started with this case a couple years ago), anyway, yeah it's just an undercurrent, but I don't know - it's too strong; it's too detectable; it's visceral, I could sense it like it was hitting all my senses - vision, hearing, everything, I could just sense it so clearly: this guy HATES me ... and I find that intriguing.

Update on the hometown guy:

I emailed with him several times today, then we talked at length on the phone tonight. I'm definitely going to meet up with him soon - probably in the hometown; I've been needing to visit the parents anyway, they're always asking when I'm coming home for another visit. Man, it still cracks me up that I got matched up with someone on eharmony who grew up in my small town; I mean we know so many people in common, it's just too funny.

By the way, he told me that I'm probably the only person in my immediate family that he doesn't really know (he knows my parents and my sister pretty well) ... then he added "but I did see you for the first time when you were only a few days old. I was six. You probably don't remember." God that makes me want to marry him, just to be able to tell people that that's how we first met, even though we didn't really meet again until 33 years later.

Oh, how funny ...

I was just matched up on eharmony with a guy from my hometown - - my very, very small hometown - - whose family I've known all my life. How funny.

I didn't recognize his picture, and I only had a first name to go on, so I didn't realize who he was until he pieced it together and wrote me back filling me in. He and I know each other's parents and brothers and sisters fairly well (my older sister and his younger brother are the same age and were good friends in high school, and our parents know each other really well, our dads are both doctors in our small town and colleagues), but I guess he and I were too far apart in age (six years) to have crossed paths much as kids, and then he left town before I even started high school. But I guess he moved back there at some point, and has been back for a while. Is divorced, with a young daughter. And is friendly with my parents. And now he and I were randomly matched on eharm.

Actually, this is the third guy I've been matched up with on eharmony that I had some weird connection with: one guy was my brother-in-law's business banker; another guy was a lawyer who worked at my old big firm at the same time I did; and now this, a guy whose family is friends with my family and who is back living in my hometown.

I guess if we decided to go out on a date, that fact could be kinda convenient; I could drive down there, go out with him, and then spend the night with my parents. Oh no, it's going to be high school all over again.

How's eharmony going, you ask?

Well, let me share some of my matches and some of their information with you, and then you tell me:

Philip is a “Business Man” who is most passionate about his “ABILITY TO HANDLE ISSUES” and is most thankful for his “religious Belief.” The first thing you’ll notice about him is his “smartness” and one thing he wishes more people would notice about him is his “Vision." He apparently is also big on capitalization. Some words need to be capitalized at the beginning to make them stand out from non-capitalized words, and of course some words really deserve to be in all caps. It has something to do with his smartness and his Vision, I guess.

Chris, whose occupation is “Technical Writer/Amateur Fitness Instructor," is most passionate about “Helping those that don't have the ability to help themselves or that have been somehow wronged and can't help themselves.” He's a true do-gooder, that Chris, helping all those people who can't help themselves ... you know, the wronged ones.

Three things that Adam can’t live without are “water, air, and food.” I'm glad he included that on his info page, because it definitely makes him stand out from, say, every other human being on the planet.

Patrick’s occupation is being “very well employed.” Aha. One thing he wishes more people would notice about him is "I am normal." I'm sure he is.

Things that Martin can’t live without are “self pity, depression, greedy, nasty attitude, and rude”. Somehow I think Martin thought he was answering a different question.

Also, one thing that only Martin's best friends know about him is that he is “nice to the wrong people." I'd say that Martin has people issues ... but that's just a guess.

Scot wants you to know that "I am actually a freak, I just put on a good act in the right situations." Oh boy, sign me up for a date.

Dan wants you to know that he is "not a fan of selfish people." Shoot, I was kinda hoping to find someone who was down with selfish people, but maybe I was just being too selfish.

Bud, the "massage therapist," can't live without the Kama Sutra, because it is "sexy stuff." He enjoys "trying out all the positions with [his] blow-up doll." Another thing he can’t live without is "great ganja." He wants to "be your sugar daddy!" More information that Bud wants you to know: "Lets get out of here and frolic naked and drunk on a yacht in the tropics." Somehow I just don’t think that Bud is serious about eharmony.

Nathan is a “Consultative Sales Consultant." I had never heard of that particular occupation before. I wonder what distinguishes a consultative sales consultant from a nonconsultative sales consultant. Something to ponder.

Eli says that the first thing you’ll notice about him is his "lack of appearance, (Function over Fashion).” I'm glad he included that little parenthetical, I was afraid at first that he might be a ghost. By the way, Ethan would also like you to know that he is “super chill.”

Chris, who enjoys playing the banjo, wants you to know that “Given a choice between flipping cartwheels at a party or club or spending a quiet evening at home” he'll take the evening at home. I don't know why those were his only two options, but good to know I guess.

Alfredo is an "actor/model" / tooth-fetishist. He is most passionate about “Love that penetrates the thickest walls and can fly over to the moon," and he is looking for a partner with the following qualities: “Good teeth...great kisser and a passionate person...knows how to dress and have fun.” Alfredo wishes that more people would notice that he is "a great lover," and that he has "good teeth" and "great shoes." Ok seriously, what's up with the teeth thing.

One thing that only Eric's best friends know about him is that he has "smoked the doobage in the past and will probably smoke it again in the future." Ok, I have to admit here that I almost closed Eric out based on his other info, but then I actually decided to keep him open for kicks when I read that answer.

Mickey says that the first thing you’ll notice about him is “good vibes.” More info he’d like you to know about him is that “ladies should be treated like ladies.” I personally think that Mickey was smoking some of Eric's doobage while he was answering his eharm questions, but who knows.

One of the things that Damian can’t live without is “A growing personal relationship with my Creator.” Too bad, because if there's one thing I can't stand it's a mamma's boy.

Yeah, this eharmony thing is going great.

Take That, Asshat!!!

Man, I wrote a kick-ass brief today. Finished and filed a kick-ass brief today I mean.

Old asshat is not going to be a happy boy when he reads it either. It's that good, and it really shows how wrong he is - - places where he screwed up at trial, didn't preserve things he thinks are great issues on appeal, totally has the law all wrong on what he describes in his brief as his most compelling argument for reversal ... hehehe; is it bad that it feels so good to kick someone's ass in court like this? Nah, not in this case I don't think; because it wouldn't have been nearly as much fun writing and filing that brief if he hadn't been such a fucking asshat thinks-he-knows-it-all douchebag.

Hehehe.

(btw, I'm strangely happy right now over work, yes over WORK; I think this strange feeling is ... pride maybe? or just joy at kicking someone's ass who really deserved to be knocked down a peg and made to see he doesn't know what the hell he's talking about a lot of the time. Well yeah, pride too I think ... I mean, I'm so fucking proud I wish I could post the two briefs, his and mine, side by side here to let you read and compare and lavish well-deserved praises on me and my kick-assedness when it comes to writing appellate briefs, this one in particular. I hand-delivered his copy to him on my way home, btw ... handed it over to his receptionist; too bad I couldn't hang around in his office and watch him open and read it ... watch him blow his fuse, which I bet he's going to do ... seriously, this was one of those cases where on appeal it's not that he had a bad case and I had a good case, although yeah that was true too, but mostly it was that he screwed up in his lawyering and I didn't. Hehehe ....)

This probably is not a good sign.

I have an appellate brief due tomorrow. It must be filed by 5pm tomorrow afternoon.

I have an extremely long, extremely rough draft at this point. It needs a lot of work to be ready to be filed.

Strangely, I am not upset by this prospect. I'm not feeling any anxiety, stress, panic, adrenaline; not really worried, not really worked up about it. Huh. That confuses me. Usually at this point I would be pretty freaking out and pumped up, practically pulling my hair out and typing madly on the computer and barking at anyone who so much as pops their head in my office to say hello, because I'd feel I had no time for hellos. (No time for hellos, is that a song?) Weird that I haven't hit that point yet.

Probably not a good thing either, since it's usually that big burst of adrenaline that pushes me through the final stages of a big brief like this, that makes it all come together in a good way by the deadline.

Eh, most likely I just haven't had enough coffee yet this morning. Give me a few hours, and I bet the panic starts to set in.