It's Nice When You Can Still Make Each Other Smile ...

I just ran into my ex-boyfriend, for the first time in 2 years. Crazy.

It's kind of crazy that that's the first time we've run into each other in so long. We broke up three years ago, but our city isn't all THAT big, you know? I imagine that I probably used to think more about whether we would run into each other or not, that first year or so following the breakup anyway. And there have been a few times in the last two years when I've thought about him randomly, because I was shopping in the grocery store closest to his house, the one I used to go to all the time but now only go to if I happen to be driving right past it and think of one or two things I want to stop in for on the spur of the moment; or because I was visiting someone who lived in his neighborhood; or because I was hanging out with someone at the bar he and I used to go to almost every day after work for a beer and a game of pool. But it's been a really long time since I can remember just randomly thinking about him like that; and it's so funny that when I did run into him, all these years later, the last guy I seriously dated before my horrid two and a half year dry spell began, it was in a moment when I was thinking solely about my new guy.

See I just pulled into the College Mart on the corner near my house, on my way home from work, to buy a can of cat food for the kitties and a tonic for me, to go with my vodka (that I just poured a few minutes ago). And as I was driving, and as I was pulling in and parking, my mind was on my Hometown Guy, who I'm going to see again this Thursday evening at his house in the hometown, and who is then going to spend the weekend with me here at my house. And I was feeling all gushy and happy, because I was thinking about that, about him, and about how gushy and happy he makes me feel. And that's the moment when I look up and see my ex, standing just outside of the College Mart, buying a paper before he headed inside to get a diet pepsi, on his way home from work too.

And it was nice. Seeing him. It was such a surprise, so unexpected, that it was kind of interesting to see what emotions I'd feel on seeing him, on talking to him ... and what I felt was just a pleasant feeling of seeing a very familiar face of someone I was once very, very close to, but without any awkwardness, without any lingering hurt, and without any lingering attraction or romance either ... it was just, well, nice.

So we chatted for a few minutes. I almost told him that I'm dating someone from my hometown, as we were catching up with each other, it almost slipped out, but I realized first that it really probably isn't proper ex-etiquette to bring up someone new you're dating and currently crushing on hard when that person hasn't asked, and when you don't know whether that person is currently happily dating someone themselves or not. So I didn't go there; instead we just exchanged your basic pleasantries, mostly about work and about pets, and said how good it was to see each other.

He paid for his drink first, and left first; we said goodbye, and then I put my stuff up on the counter. And as the ex was climbing into his car and pulling away from the College Mart, the guy behind the counter, who I see all the time because I shop there all the time, said to me: "Sweetie, I don't know what you said to him, but I have to tell you: that guy has been coming in here for years, and that is the first time I have ever seen him smile." And then this girl who works there too jumped in and said "what guy?", and the clerk pointed him out, said "that guy, the Solicitor. He comes in here all the time, always looking so serious."

So I told them that's my ex, told them it was the first time we'd run into each other in years. The clerk said "well he sure must have been happy to see you, because I'm telling you, I'm serious, that is the first time I have ever seen that guy smile. He looked happy just now." I said "well we were together a long time, but that was a long time ago." He said "aw, that's a shame." But then he said "actually, though, that's kind of nice. That you both reacted right away seeing each other after all this time with such big smiles. It must not have ended too badly, if you both seemed happy to see each other, even if you never really want to see each other again, you know?" Yeah, I'm paraphrasing here, but I knew what he meant. It's nice to know that, even if you don't want that person in your life anymore, going forward, it can still spark a pleasant emotion and trigger a genuine smile to see each other unexpectedly, given how much you both meant to each other at one time. Kind of like evidence that you both touched each others' lives in a good way in the past.

Of course, as I sit here writing this now, I remember how our sex life was towards the end of that relationship, how completely it had dwindled and fizzled and just turned uninterested ... and having experienced that in the past, and now experiencing the beginning of a new relationship with someone new, with my Hometown Guy, all I can think is, "damn, I've got it GOOD THIS time around ..." and that makes me ec-fucking-static. :D