use your legal imagination this halloween -

- and help a girl out.

This week I had jury duty. Magistrate's court, so small cases. And they didn't even have trials every day this week; I showed up Monday morning as required, and after waiting two and a half hours I found out that I had not been picked for Monday's case, but that I would have to show up again Tuesday and Friday mornings for two more jury picks - - but no cases Wednesday or Thursday.

Well Monday and Tuesday I did not get picked, and I was back at work between 11 and 11:30 a.m. both days. And of course since I didn't have to show up for jury duty Wednesday or Thursday, I worked regular days both those days.

But today, Friday, I got a little bad.

Not bad luck; I didn't get picked for jury duty, once again. In fact, it was kind of nice - because I got my check this morning for showing up for jury duty 3 days this week, even though I didn't have to sit on an actual jury. So at 10:30 this morning, I walked out of court, dismissed with thanks from the judge, a check for $44 in hand, free to ... uh ... go back to work?

Well, see, that's where I get bad. As I was driving away from court in my car, I was thinking about the fact that it's Friday, that it's not just any Friday but Halloween Friday, and that I'm not actually in the office right this minute, and that nobody in my office has any idea of what's going on over in this tiny little magistrate's court that I've been required to show up at this week for jury duty. I thought maybe I should take advantage...

At first I just took a very minor advantage. I knew I needed to stop by the grocery store today for a few things, including Halloween candy in case any little creetin kids show up at my door tonight; so I went ahead and shopped for groceries after leaving the court, then came on home and put the groceries away and piddled around for a few minutes. Thinking I'd go on back to the office any minute, work for the rest of the day.

But then I started thinking a little more, and I started wondering: why the hell am I actually considering going back to the office on a Friday, on Halloween, when I've got this totally legitimate jury duty excuse for not being in the office?

So I waited until about 12:40-something, then called my paralegal and explained that I was using my lunch break to call in and let the office know that I'd been picked today, and wouldn't be back in. Bad girl, bad girl! Is that bad?

My paralegal asked a few questions out of curiosity about the kind of case I'd been picked for; I gave her the few details I already knew from being in court this morning when the jury was picked, that it's a traffic case, a criminal charge. And then I embellished just a little bit, based on information that I gleaned from this morning even though it wasn't specifically stated: that the woman cited to be at fault in the accident disputes it, and that the people who were in the other car are in court to testify about how she is at fault. Then my paralegal remarked on how odd it was that I actually got picked, since I'm a lawyer and it seems like people never want to pick a lawyer to sit on their jury; and I told her how there were a surprising number of lawyers in the jury pool this week in magistrate's court, considering what a small court it is and what a small jury pool (less than 50 people). I told her how two other lawyers got cut before I was seated, and I figured that the parties just figured what the heck by the time it came to lawyer number 3; which was partially true, since they did cut two lawyers from the jury before they seated the jury, but also partially false, since I wasn't even close enough to being potentially seated to have even been subject to a cut. Anyway; then my paralegal just told me a few things that are going on in the office today, but it's not much really; and basically I don't need to be there today for anything in particular.

So basically I'm playing hooky today, with a somewhat justifiable real excuse of having jury duty, but with the added element of lying about having to finish out the rest of the day to sit on an actual jury of an actual case. Meanwhile I'm just going to enjoy my Friday at home, and get into the Halloween spirit a little bit.

But I know, of course, that come Monday I'm going to be asked, by my boss most importantly, about this case I'm supposedly serving on jury duty for today. So I'm thinking that over the weekend I'll need to work up a few extra good, somewhat specific points of interest to be able to tell her about my jury-serving day, and about the outcome of the case, just to make it all sound good.

So anyway: does anyone have any suggestions on what I can say to help booster the whole I-served-on-a-jury-that's-why-I-didn't-show-up-for-work-Friday thing? Anyone served on a jury in a traffic case, specifically, since that's the lie I'm starting with and have to build on? Anyone have any good jury-serving anecdotes I can plagiarize and incorporate into my story come Monday? Or just any imaginative details you think might satisfy my boss, so I don't come across as a liar if asked aobut my case next week?

p.s. Does it make me a true dork that I'm actually spending this much effort thinking and worrying about covering my tracks like this, pretending I got picked for the jury when I really didn't just so I don't have to go back into work on a Friday? Yeah, I thought so. Oh well; I think I'm going to go out on my front porch now with an alcoholic drink and carve a pumpkin into a jack-o'-lantern for my trick-or-treaters tonight. Wish me luck in not cutting off a finger while I'm at it!